For both girls and boys, friends are the basis of living a “successful life”. Souls that help the life grow. Everyone needs someone to confide in, someone to spend time with and more importantly someone they can rely on through thick and thin. For girls it might be that special best friend who knows exactly what lip gloss cheers you up when you fail your math exam and those cupcakes that make you happy even if it takes you thirty minutes to get them. For boys it could be that group of friends that you left somewhere far away sometime long ago; yet they always remind you how they are waiting for you to return because you are just as much part of them as you were before. However, not everyone is as blessed to have loyal friends that are there for you regardless of the time or place or means of communications. You might be the one that puts in the effort and it is not reciprocated. You might be the one awaiting the phone call hoping they remember that your parents are not home and you are lonely. You might even be the one that they ignore after you remind them that you have not forgotten them.
So. How does one go about keeping their self-worth while watching all these others live their life full of friends and enjoyment?
How do you stop comparing yourself to these facebookers and instagrammers that just never stop posting photos of pre-parties on thursday nights, and vacations together.
You start by healing.
Self worth is not determined by the amount of contacts on your phone or those that like your pictures. Self worth is determined by how you live your life – WITHOUT comparing yourself to everyone else.
You might set up toys for tots drives or volunteer at the soup kitchen. You might help your classmates understand lectures and share study tips. Whatever it is that you do, the kindness that you put into your life – THAT is what determines your worth and how you feel about yourself. Being kind to yourself and others is how you grow. We tend to be harder on ourselves than others – be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can. Kindness is something that is valued in this society, and why would it not be? Those who are left behind are more empathetic than others and that is always a gift. So, get out of your head. You are doing well and no you are not wasting your life. Do not let the world make you angry. You are worth it. Learn from the hatred and anger and turn it into happiness and kindness.
Blah Blah Blah yeah I know you have heard this time and time again but this time you should definitely listen up.
You and yourself are the key to being comfortable in your own skin. No one can compare their life experiences to yours because you and everyone else are so different. Comparing apples to oranges just doesn’t work out – and comparing carrots to blueberries just DEFINITELY doesn’t work out. You are made uniquely and no one can take that away from you. You are yourself (obviously) so who cares what everyone else is doing? Do yourself and do not rely on anyone for your happiness. Yes I understand how that sounds; easier said than done. But the more and more you see how your favorite book and that bath bomb from lush make you feel better than you will start to realize that it is easier to help yourself rather than waiting for someone to come over or waiting for that text back. Don’t get me wrong, a tub of Häagen-Dazs chocolate with a bunch of Audrey Hepburn dvds delivered personally by your best friend will always be amazing but it’s always good to do things for yourself. I mean honestly, who’s going to love you more than yourself? Perfectly perfect in every way.
If you haven’t found your little nest yet don’t fret. It’s early, in every possible sense. You can’t force chemistry on someone, you cannot force a relationship. There’s a lesson in everything (sorry to be all yogi) but it helps knowing that there is a plan and everything happens for a reason so no the universe is not punishing you and NO this is not karma. You are learning the lesson you are meant to learn – and through all the heartbreak and the tears you will come back a stronger person. Ready to find those loyal ones that have been looking for you the entire time.
Remember you are worth it. Just sit and wait and in the meantime tell yourself some good jokes and buy yourself some presents. Just wait for life to teach you what you need to come out a victor.
Have a wonderful day loves, and remember (if you take anything out of this post – definitely take this.)…
“Never compare your chapter seven to someone else’s chapter twenty-one.”